Nobel Committee Asks Obama To Return Peace Prize

Thorbjorn Jagland, chairman of the Nobel Peace Prize Committee, said today that President Obama “really ought to consider” returning his Nobel Peace Prize Medal immediately, including the “really nice” case it came in.

Jagland, flanked by the other four members of the Committee, said they’d never before asked for the return of a Peace Prize, “even from a damnable war-criminal like Kissinger,” but that the 10% drawdown in US troops in Afghanistan the President announced last week capped a period of “non-Peace-Prize-winner-type behavior” in 2011.  “Guantanamo’s still open. There’s bombing Libya. There’s blowing bin Laden away rather than putting him on trial. Now a few US troops go home, but the US will be occupying Afghanistan until 2014 and beyond. Don’t even get me started on Yemen!”

The Committee awarded Obama the coveted prize in 2009 after he made a series of speeches in the first months of his presidency, which convinced the Peace Prize Committee that he was: “creating a new climate of…multilateral diplomacy…an emphasis on the role of the United Nations…of dialogue and negotiations as instruments for resolving international conflicts…and a vision of world free of nuclear arms.”

“Boy oh boy!” added Jagland. “Did we regret that press release!”

Thorbjorn Jagland and members of the Nobel Peace Prize Committee
celebrate Norway’s annual aquavit tasting festival.

But, he revealed the committee members were all “legless drunk” the day they voted, as it was the start of Norway’s annual aquavit-tasting festival. The “totally toasted” members listened over and over to replays of Obama’s Cairo speech, tearing up and drinking shots to the glorious future: a black man leading America and the world into a new era of peace, hope and goodwill. “For a few hours we were all 18 year-old students again at the beautiful, occasionally sunny University of Bergen! Oh, how we cried for joy!”

The chairman said the committee weren’t “going to be pills” about getting the Prize back because they still “basically really liked” Mr. Obama and that sending it back in a plain package by regular mail would be fine if it would save him the embarrassment of a public return. But added Jagland, “things could get nasty” if the committee didn’t see it… -->

continue reading →

Fascism is there again

Chairman of the State Duma of the Federal Assembly of Russia Sergey Naryshkin said that fascism is lifting its head again on the Russian borders. He said this on Sunday, June 22, at Brest during the meeting-requiem in Brest fortress on the occasion of the National Day of Remembrance of the Victims of the Second World War, RIA Novosti reported.

“If schoolbooks are substituted with nationalist surrogate, fascism, unfortunately, once again will raise its head, and, unfortunately, this is what is happening very close to our borders in a brotherly country” – said Naryshkin. According to him, in the XXI century, as in 1941, people defending their homeland again die with the words “Fascism will not pass!”

“The word of “Motherland” is understood identically in Russia, Belarus and all other parts of the previously single country that saved the whole of Europe and the world from fascism,” – he added.

Russian politician stressed that the fortress of Brest holds a special place among the other heroic cities, as it was struck with the first blow of the Germans in 1941.

The event was attended by war veterans who came by the “Memory Train” from Moscow.

Speaker of the House of Representatives of the National Assembly of Belarus Vladimir Andreychenko expressed regret that today we see attempts to downplay the contribution of the Soviet Union to the victory over Nazi Germany. “Parliamentarians of Belarus and Russia will exert their will and efforts to keep the post-Soviet space and the Eurasia the territory of peace, friendship and good neighbors,” – he said.

The exhibition “War Museum – the territory of Peace” has opened in Brest Fortress on Sunday.… -->

continue reading →