The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

I finally got around to watching “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” and am I happy I did! This is one of the best movies I watched ever. My friends recommended me to watch it for a while but it really did not look so exciting “from the outside”. Once on the inside of the movie though, it is a wonderful story, great acting and an overall soul-touching experience.

I only wish they did skip the popular gay theme all together, it does not bring any good to the movie, only makes it worse. If those lovers were but a normal old couple separated through the wishes of the parents, the movie would have been a star. As it is, that particular part rasps against the rest and provides a dissonant note that fortunately does not quite ruin the experience.

All the rest is brilliant though. Being in India, we get the Indian love plot mixed up with several foreigners all breaking up and falling together, finding their way around and getting themselves a new meaning of life. The action is well paced and entertaining, the movie gets a couple of unexpected twists and never gets boring. Totally recommended to watch.… -->

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Fall in love in 36 questions

Here is the set of questions that was used by Dr. Arthur Aron and colleagues in their study of “generating interpersonal closeness”. In a word, if you follow the instructions and go through this procedure, there is a high chance you fall in love. Wanna test?

Oh, and the original publication is called “The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings” in case you want to look it up…

The exercise is performed by two people together. As soon as you both finish reading these instructions, you should begin with the questions. One of you should read aloud the first question and then BOTH do what it asks, starting with the person who read the question aloud. When you are both done, go on to the next question – one of you reading it aloud and both doing what it asks. And so forth.

As you go through the questions, one at a time, please don’t skip any – do each in order. If it asks you a question, share your answer with your partner. Then let him or her share their answer to the same question with you. If it is a task, do it first, then let your partner do it. Alternate who reads aloud (and thus goes first) with each new question. Take plenty of time with each question, doing what it asks thoroughly and thoughtfully.

  1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
  4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
  5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
  6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
  7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
  8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
  9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
  10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
  13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
  14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
  15. What is the greatest accomplishment
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How do I know that I love you?

It’s very simple. Let me be sentimental for a minute. When I think about death, here is what I think about.

If I had to die real soon, what would I want to do before dying? What would I want to do as my last thing before I am gone? Would I want to write a book? Who cares. Would I want to accomplish accomplishments at work? Fuck, no. Would I want to go jump with a parachute? Sounds good… but no. Grow a tree? Build a house? Say good-byes? No, not really. It all just stops making any sense. I am not interested.

So if I had to die real soon, I would simply want to spend that time hugging you. That’s how I know I love you.… -->

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Love cannot be halved!

“Where it becomes threatening is when [partners] think love implies exclusivity,” says Veaux. “It’s the starvation model of love. That is, if you love two, each gets half of the love. That’s not true. Every single person is absolutely unique. Because of that, it means my partners can never be replaced.” (from The Truth About Open Marriage)

I always felt so daft trying to explain to people that you can love more without giving less love to each loved. It is such a simple concept to me but it seems to baffle infinitely others. Look, I’ll tell you in technical terms :) Love is a very special resource. Love can be applied in any quantities and to as many targets as you want. It does not diminish or spread thinly if you spread it over more people. In fact, it appears to become stronger and larger as you spend more of it. I know that other resources are mostly not like that. That’s why love is special. So go ahead and have that second kid – you will not love the first one less for that!… -->

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