Fall in love in 36 questions

Here is the set of questions that was used by Dr. Arthur Aron and colleagues in their study of “generating interpersonal closeness”. In a word, if you follow the instructions and go through this procedure, there is a high chance you fall in love. Wanna test?

Oh, and the original publication is called “The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings” in case you want to look it up…

The exercise is performed by two people together. As soon as you both finish reading these instructions, you should begin with the questions. One of you should read aloud the first question and then BOTH do what it asks, starting with the person who read the question aloud. When you are both done, go on to the next question – one of you reading it aloud and both doing what it asks. And so forth.

As you go through the questions, one at a time, please don’t skip any – do each in order. If it asks you a question, share your answer with your partner. Then let him or her share their answer to the same question with you. If it is a task, do it first, then let your partner do it. Alternate who reads aloud (and thus goes first) with each new question. Take plenty of time with each question, doing what it asks thoroughly and thoughtfully.

  1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
  4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
  5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
  6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
  7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
  8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
  9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
  10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
  13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
  14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
  15. What is the greatest accomplishment
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