“Where it becomes threatening is when [partners] think love implies exclusivity,” says Veaux. “It’s the starvation model of love. That is, if you love two, each gets half of the love. That’s not true. Every single person is absolutely unique. Because of that, it means my partners can never be replaced.” (from The Truth About Open Marriage)
I always felt so daft trying to explain to people that you can love more without giving less love to each loved. It is such a simple concept to me but it seems to baffle infinitely others. Look, I’ll tell you in technical terms :) Love is a very special resource. Love can be applied in any quantities and to as many targets as you want. It does not diminish or spread thinly if you spread it over more people. In fact, it appears to become stronger and larger as you spend more of it. I know that other resources are mostly not like that. That’s why love is special. So go ahead and have that second kid – you will not love the first one less for that!